No Harris, no lumps. No Trump, no pump.
It’s a no-knockout that devout patriots are willing to enforce to ensure their favorite presidential candidate is hailed at the head of state, according to a recent report.
“In a world where politics seems to affect every corner of life, it turns out that even the bedroom is not immune to partisan divisions,” wrote the authors of the study from ZipHealth, a virtual pharmacy.
Researchers surveyed over 1,000 American men and women to determine how political affiliation affects sexual habits, preferences and behaviors.
Experts found that 50% of Democratic women would abstain from bar lists until Election Day, November. 5, to ensure Vice President Kamala Harris gets the big O — the Oval Office, that is.
The bachelorette sisters are joined by 41% of Democratic men, who also wouldn’t mind keeping her in their pants until Harris hits it hard.
On the other side of the aisle, however, only 31% of Republican men would miss a good shot at Trump.
The GOPs should have it, it seems.
But it’s no big shock that the White House race has people walking the tightrope.
The battle for POTUS status has severely divided the nation, with supporters on both sides fervently backing their choice — regardless of how those pledges of allegiance affect their personal lives.
And while some voters are working to protect themselves from electoral chaos, like brides-to-be who are enacting a “no-talk-about-politics” rule at their upcoming weddings, others are hopelessly afraid that the messy split will destroy family gatherings during the holidays.
Well, it’s already wasting time together for two.
Radical Republicans and Democrats don’t just differ in their political positions, according to the ZipHealth study.
The investigators found that boys from opposite parties also differ in erectile dysfunction tendencies.
“Republican couples (29%) were more likely to struggle with erectile dysfunction (ED) than Democratic couples (22%),” the data showed. “Among those with ED, Republican couples (53%) are more likely to use ED medication than Democratic couples (43%).
But when it comes to kinky fetishes, the findings reveal that behind closed doors, all of Yankee Doodle’s dances have similarly grim tastes.
“Role play” and “orgasm control” ranked as two of the “most common searches” among men and women on both sides.
At least there are some things the nation can agree on.
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